Out of all the horrible things humans can experience on this planet, I’d say getting covered in poo is up there. All poo is bad. There’s no genre of it that could slide down the side of your face and fail to horrify you.
When I was younger a bird defecated right on my nose, which, as things go in order to save people the embarrassment and PTSD that comes with being a pigeon’s fecal dartboard was congratulated as ‘good luck’.
It’s why I sympathize with this girl who sits frozen in the passenger seat of a car having been caked in kitten dung.
Look at this face. A truly coming-of-age moment. Up until this moment, it was all lollipops, trampolines, and play-doh. Not anymore. You know where you are? You’re in the jungle, baby.
Absolute scenes. But is it all that bad? Do I and others like me need to re-assess our childhood nightmares of animal poo? Unfortunately not. Animal poo has no benefits to us mortals. Human poo on the other hand… now you’re getting somewhere.
Rough childhood right there.
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